The Walls will Crumble.

As I near the hour of my departure, I feel myself becoming more and more scared to leave the comfort of my home and family. I have never been away from home for longer than two weeks (and even then I went to Lake Tahoe with my brother to be with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins). This will be my first trip- by myself- a million miles away from home- without the comfort of knowing exactly what the destination will look like. When I begin to doubt myself and start to fear the days ahead, I pray about what this YWAM DTS is going to be all about for me. I pray about what God wants to teach me. I think about what He wants to change in me.


The expectations to meet while I am in the training program:

• Learning to hear and obey God's voice through the Word of God and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
• Understanding the world we live in and the importance of worship, intercessory prayer, community and spiritual warfare.
• Discovering callings and gifts.

What I feel God is really going to pound into me is learning how to love people more. He is going to teach me how to forgive people. To be patient with people. To stop judging people. I feel that I am going to hear Him more and listen for Him more. I feel I am going to discover my calling and gifts. I know this trip is going to impact me in more ways than one, but I also know the process is going to strip my soul bare of pride and it will hurt... a lot. 

My mind wanders to that one scene in "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" when Eustace is still a dragon and he is scratching at himself trying to take off his scales. What really hits me about this scene is that it takes Eustace aching and weeping before Aslan, asking him to help him, for Aslan to finally scrape deep into the dragon flesh and change Eustace back into a boy. I think God is going to be scraping at my inner flesh in an effort to transform me into a better daughter. Into a better sister. Into a better friend. Its going to be painful and it will burn, but it will be "a good kind of pain." 

There is a season of healing, reconstruction, growth, passion, yearning, determination, strength, endurance, discernment, and love headed straight toward me. It will hit me where I am weak and pound day and night at the places in me that are padlocked in pride and earthly passions. In 14 days I will leave for nearly 6 months. 

My brothers and sisters, please be praying comfort over me... Yes... "I will be in Hawaii," but my friends and family will be in Tennessee and I wont know a single person when I step onto that plane. For a long time I'll feel out of my element and shy, but mostly I'll wish I had my family with me. I want to grow and learn but in order to do this my heart will need to let go of familiarity. I will miss everyone and think of home often! Blessings to you my friends!

A Warrior for the King,

Bekah