24 hours

The wooing, clever, forever steadfast heart of God. The romantic, savior, devoted husband heart of Jesus. And, the best friend, constant, and faithful heart of the Holy Spirit. Hearing the God Story has changed my entire outlook on the Trinity. What is the God Story? Its basically the Bible told in a time line story from God's perspective. Why hasn't the church told me ANY of this before?! That I'm not supposed to feel guilt- not if I'm saved! And why haven't they spent more time telling us that its not striving and works that save us? I have spent years trying to please God with my actions. Why haven't I been told before about how much of a romantic God I truly have? HE IS SO TRULY IN LOVE WITH ME!

There was one point during the week when our speaker, Adam Cox, got down on his knees to reenact what God must have been feeling in Malachi when He went silent for 400 years. I don't remember what exactly was happening- or why He was on his knees- because I was just so taken and overwhelmed at the image of GOD, on His knees, in ernest yearning for the hearts of His people to turn back on Him. How could I ever deny my love to a God who woos me? Did you know that God woos you! I wish I had known! Thank you God for sending me to this place! To YWAM!

After my new revelations of God I had to spend every free waking hour returning my love to Him. I began to write Him poetry- just confirming who He is, how beautiful He is, and how worthy He is! After I spent time doing that- God ALWAYS wanted to reciprocate to me who I am, how beautiful I am, and how worthy I am. What kind of a God is THIS! That He sees us worthy?! Thank you JESUS! for making us worthy!

In 24 hours I will need $2,000 dollars in order to go on missions. All I can say is- My God! Your will be done! You know what I need. You know what is GOOD! Your will be done and I will trust you every step of the way! You have said that I will go- so I trust you! Even if it gets down to the last minute before I step onto the plane- I will trust you to bring in all the money I need!

Thank you God! I LOVE YOU, MY TRUE AND EVERLASTING FRIEND!
May you too awaken your soul to the wooing heart of GOD!
A Warrior for the King,
Bekah

The More

I have discovered something about my relationship with God that is kind of simple, yet overlooked by many all the time. The truth is, the more you lean into God and yearn for the more of who He is (handing over your hopes, dreams, and rights in the process), the more He reveals Himself to you and tells you more about yourself. The more you focus on the splendor of His glory- the more filled up with His glory you become. So many people are hungry for more! They want to burn more! They want to know God more! They want to love Him more! ...Just look at Him:) Know Him like you know your friends, family members, or boyfriend/girlfriend. He wants us to know His likes, His dislikes- His pet peeves and what makes Him laugh or smile- what His favorite smell or song is. He also wants us to know that He is a gift giver- He loves to pleasure us freely!

I know He loves it when I speak out because He loves to hear what my voice sounds like. He loves it when I listen for His voice too. He loves how I dream and what I think about. He loves to dream and think with me. He loves it when I am careful to keep His secrets and He thinks its cute when I trip all over myself failing to please Him with my actions. He is precious to me. He knows how to please me more than any man could ever know how- those men didn't knit me perfectly together in my mother's womb nor designed my features/personality with beauty and excitement.

Letting go of strongholds in my life has been so freeing. I have been walking under His flooding mercy and devotion free of strongholds for a week now and His presence has been so evident in my life ever since! Though I still fight the urge to fall back into captivity of strongholds- I know I am equipped to fight against them. My life will never be the same. I am free to move in Him. I am free to rejoice in the storms of life- for HE is GOOD. I love YWAM, I love what God is doing in me and I rejoice in what He has done. But more- I LOVE my Best Friend, Lover, Father, and Dream Catcher- Jesus! The Holy Spirit leaps inside of me ALL THE TIME! For He knows He is free in me now! I have released Him from the cages of my mind and He can now shout unto the LORD! FOR HE IS HOLY AND WORTHY OF PRAISE!

My spiritual gifts have been emerging from the depths. The Holy Spirit is releasing a gift of prophesy, song, and confidence in who I am in God. I am confident in the Lord- for He is absolute truth! He is the only One I can rely on completely and without question. I cannot wait to bring a spirit of Love and Peace into the Holy Land!

WORTHY WORTHY WORTHY is the Lord God ALMIGHTY! He is good!
A Warrior for the King,
Bekah

My GOD, My JOY! My Delight!

Coming in close to the arms of God! It is such a relaxing, peaceful, gifted time. Its a never ending cycle of Repenting before the Lord with Joy in my heart!  Rebuking strongholds that bind me and casting them before the feet of Jesus! Then Accepting God's forgiveness and gifts and just Loving Him for giving me grace! I love the LORD MY GOD!!! He is my JOY and my DELIGHT! He is catching me up in His story and writing me into His pages. I have seen and heard my calling. After I laid down all my desires and rights to know who I am in the Lord- He gave it all back to me with new revelation and promise! I have entered into the secret place and I have heard the secrets of His heart! He is my closest friend, my Delight! His love weighs down on me, His beauty resinates in my eyes, I see Him working all around me. The weight of His love drains my every being- fear, doubt, hatred, passivity- I am awakening and the groan within my stomach is transforming into a roar for the nations to hear and respond! All my life is for His GLORY! All my thoughts, all my actions, all my desires!

Be free and find release in His HEART!!!
A Warrior for the King,
Bekah

Conviction

This week has been exhausting! But good all at the same time:) Our room got lice, so I spent a good amount of the week cleaning out the room while all 6 of us girls had to wash ALL of our clothes. It was a nightmare. I had to hike up and down the hill, back and forth, to and from the laundry room about 10 times. Then, Saturday and Sunday, I had work duty in the kitchen from 6-9:30 and 3-8. I didn't get any rest. And, not to mention, I had a book report due! So, Sunday night was just plain awful.

The whole time I have been here has just been so peaceful and full of love for the people around me. But, all this stuff, packed one on top of the other, has really stressed my limits. I got frustrated and angry. I didn't show it to anyone, but it was killing me on the inside. I woke up this morning, not fully recuperated from the week I had just been through, and just plain exhausted and stiff. Every monday morning the whole school meets in the Ohana Court for worship and I was just not feeling up for it. I made a commitment to be genuine the whole time I was here, so I didn't want to stand there, lift my hands in worship, and fake it. I felt God tell me to get my journal, go sit over against the wall, and just write Him a letter telling Him all that I am feeling. So I did. I told Him about my frustrations and my wants. I told Him about how tired I was, "like butter scraped over too much bread," and I just needed a week to recuperate from all that I have been taught in the previous weeks. I just needed time to meditate on Him.

After worship ended, the DTS students gathered into the classroom for our morning lecture (which usually starts at 8 and goes until 12, but we had morning worship so it started at 9 this morning). The speaker, Danny, started his sermon titled, "Sharing the Gospel." He was very enthusiastic, fun, and he was answering all the questions I have ever had concerning sharing Jesus with the world, so he kept me engaged:) Then, he stopped at 10:40, which is when we usually break for snack, but instead, Kat (one of our leaders) gets the microphone and says, "I just felt God was telling me that we just need to rest- we just need a week of recuperation and time to focus- so class will end and we will move to the prayer room where everyone can just pray, soak, and lay down in His presence. This will be all week, so everyone go spend time with the Lord."

......I couldn't believe it! God had asked me what I wanted and He gave it to me. I have the letter written down- in my journal- almost word for word of what Kat had told us. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who listen for the voice of God and follow after Him with everything that they know!

I had a "one on one" today with one of my leaders, her name is Chamille. It seems that every time we meet I am either delivered of something or see where I need to be delivered of something. I have always had doubt in the back of my mind... like, "do I really hear, God?" or "Is God even there?" "How do I know when He is speaking to me" "What if God isn't really around?" "What if all this stuff I am hearing is just made up in my head?" Fear and doubt have been a lovers in my life. Did you know that even things that we know are bad can be idols? Its because we let them rule over us. Did you know everything bad is not of the Lord? So, when I say "fear and doubt are always in my head," I am really saying that "I let things that are not of the Lord be a lover or idol in my life." Conviction overtook me today when Chamille was telling me what the Lord was telling her. She said, "Bekah, God is telling me that He wants to use you and He wants you to walk in the fullness of you gifts- its just you are letting doubt and fear stand in your way." We prayed against it and I cried like a baby!

God, convict me again and again! Let there be nothing of earth that stands in the way of you working in my life! You are worthy! You are worthy! You are worthy of all of me, God!
Blessed are the feet of those who walk in your ways, God!
A Warrior for the King,
Bekah   

Provider!

Good news!!! Jesus is Alive!!! Jesus is King! and Jesus Loves us!!! AHHH! But really! I have good news! I have the $2,5000 that was due today for outreach! However, there is something else that came up in the meeting today. The outreach is going to cost $6,000 instead of $5,000 and the money will be due in 2 weeks. But thats ok! God has brought in $3,000 for my outreach in just a couple of weeks! He CAN do it AGAIN! He promised to provide- so He will!!! He wants us to go out into all the world proclaiming His name without fear, without shame, but boldly and with JOY! I am longing to do this! Im making plans that waste my life on Him because HE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! I think this ministry is supposed to be my profession and God holds my paycheck. He is just waiting to give me EVERYTHING I will ever need! I love Him so much! I trust Him so much!

God you are worthy of my praise! Even if you never do a good thing for me ever again! You would still be SO WORTHY! I love you and I know you hold all the money I need. Bring it forth Father!

A Warrior for the King,
Bekah

The Waves of Youth

The staff is making all the students read Loren Cunningham's book, "Is That Really You God?" Its actually a really fun read! I can't tell if I was shaking from the excitement of reading or the two cups of french pressed coffee I had only a half hour before. While I was reading I would take breaks to look up at the waves crashing on the rocks of Magic Sands Beach. Loren describes a vision he had in his twenties- a vision of young people traveling in waves all over the globe for the name of a Risen and Living King, Jesus. I then looked up the mountain leading to up to the volcano... It is always overcast there.. I don't know why? I thought about how amazing it was that Loren's vision came true.. and that I was in that wave. God knew, from the very beginning that I would become a part of this team- that I would give up home, family, friends, security in familiarity, and status to live for His name. I am in that wave!

The truth is, I can climb that volcano- for years if I chose- but, there will eventually be an end to that climb... and when you finally reach the end- its overcast at the top.... But the waves never end. They are too strong- they can knock you over- they shift you- they challenge you- but more, they are never still.

Our class has been challenged, by Loren himself, to give up anything we have set value on and to just hand it all over to God. Sometimes, God just wants to see if we would really give up our only son... He just wants to see how much we trust Him- even if it means giving Him a living sacrifice of what is most important to us. He wants to see if we really Love Him more than what we love here on earth.

Let me tell you, It was a lot harder than I thought it would be... To mean it when I say, "God, here! I trust you with my family- have them- I give them up to you.""God, I trust you with my desire to be married with a family of my own one day- you take it- its yours." "God, I trust you to bring in all the money I need to continue with this ministry... I know you have called me here, so I know you will take care of me financially." Giving up my rights, my desires, and my worries... Its nice! Its nice for my God too, He doesn't have to fight against any other gods in my head to claim my attention anymore. He can speak right to me.

You want to hear God's voice? Lay down your rights. Lay down the idols that are fighting for your attention. God had to do the same with Abraham... Isaac was becoming an idol to Abraham and God wasn't at the center of Abraham's head anymore. Whats funny, is that Isaac was a God given gift! He was good! Sacrifice your God given gifts and rights. He knows what is best done with them anyways!

I love you BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! May God's voice be heard in His people!
A Warrior for the King,
Bekah